Summary: A haunting tale of revenge.
Warnings: Murder, death, blood. Revenge. Abuse.
My heart raced when I thought of him. I flushed, my skin burning. He occupied so many of my waking thoughts and I dreamt of him almost nightly. I remembered the tone to his voice that made me shiver. The feel of his hands on me. The longing I felt when I was with him. I had known from the moment we met that he would have a huge impact on my life.
I stood over him with the knife in my hand. I'd finally done it, planned it and done it. As he'd come towards me I had stuck the knife in his stomach and pulled it upwards. Gutting him. Like I'd seen in a movie once, though it was harder than it looked. My hands and wrists ached as warm blood flowed over them. He sank to the floor with a look of shock on his face. He didn't die right away, the blood kept coming and coming. When life finally left his eyes I cleaned myself up and left. Back on a train, then connecting coach. Back home, hundreds of miles away. I felt a sense of relief, an anxiety that had eaten away at me for so long finally gone. I had waited years for this, I hadn't even seen him in over a decade, but I knew that face and he knew mine. Had it been that long since he'd killed my sister? We'd always joked that if we could kill one person and get away with it, who would it be? After that day it was him, always him. It had taken years of planning, studying, training to do this. But finally I had killed and I would get away with it. I took the note from my pocket, the one my sister wrote me the week before he killed her.
I know you know all this, but in the last year it has gotten worse, looking back on it scares me, but I'm getting numb to that fear now, just a blank wall. I feel nothing now, used to be my heart raced when I thought of him, because I was so terrified of what he'd do next. I flushed, my skin burning, when Mrs Evans next door saw the bruises, she gave me a pitying look and whispered she knew what was going on. He occupied so many of my waking thoughts and I dreamt of him almost nightly, nightmares that I couldn't escape and I couldn't let on when they woke me for fear of what he might do. I remembered the tone to his voice that made me shiver with fear, it always started that way, with that horrid tone that doesn’t even register anymore. The feel of his hands on me, around my throat, he's started choking me now sometimes I even black out. The longing I felt when I was with him, to run to escape but it was so impossible, the weight of him pinning me down. I had known from the moment we met that he would have a huge impact on my life. But I never thought it would come to this. Little by little he has taken me away, he has trapped me. I know you said you would help me, it took so much to even hide this from him, I don't know what he'd do if he got hold of this note. He has all the money, there's no bus running through here anymore, if I can get enough for a taxi to the train station. But he can't know. If he finds out I'm trying to leave I think he'll kill me.